Not a Super Hero Mother

Brayden 6Y2M22D

Bevlynn 1Y11M16D

It can be hard sometimes. 

2 days ago during Mother's Day, there was a librarian coming up to me and telling me how Bev running about in the library could have gotten her into some accident. It wasn't that I let her roam about freely and not bothering about her but her actions were very fast and swift. Before I knew it, she was right in front of the uncle. 

Sometimes both the children are demanding my attention but they are running on different locations. And it is tough for me to handle both. I got really frustrated inside when Daddy was only watching from the sides and didn't even take the initiative to help. His respond "They are looking for Mommy, I can't do anything" 

I could only take in the words but felt helpless. 

There was a man walking very fast past us and I tripped on his luggage while carrying Bev. Both of us fell to the ground. Bev knocked her head and I had some minor bruising. Sometimes I tried my hardest, to keep my babies safe but it wasn't enough. It hurts. 

This Mother's Day, made me feel like Mothers aren't always the super hero people expect them to be. They can be vulnerable, weak and sometimes helpless. I will not give up though, I will not given in.. I'll be the best version I can be. Mommy's here!

Hide and Seek

07 May 2023

Brayden 6Y2M13D

Bevlynn 1Y11M7D

We love to play hide and seek at home. In this small place we have, there's lots of fun and laughter. 

Bev always has the soft "Hide... hide... hide (said in very fast tone and sounded like losing breath)". Her usual hiding spot is behind the curtain and behind the door. Every time it is the same spot and we had to pretend not to be able to find her. 

Bray is always asking to be the seeker. He counts from 1 to 20 is very fast and doesn't allow anyone to hide well. 

Bev and Bray loves playing camping under the bed mattress as well. It is super hot in the small space, and Mommy has to fit in the space too. 

I recalled the times when I told Brayden night time stories. Everytime I will put myself to sleep with the stories but I will continue to tell the stories in jibberish. Brayden used to say "Mommy are you crazy talk again?" It happened again yesterday, out of no where I just stay "the dragon has hand muscles" Brayden laughed so hard and fell asleep afterwards. 

If only I can hold these small hands of yours forever,... I will love and cherish them. 

"What is your name?" Bevlynn : "Mei Mei!" 

Always return home

 April 30, 2023

Brayden 6Y2M6D

Bevlynn 1Y11M0D

It was a busy week for me at work. Every day I had to work until late hours and even one of the days came back home around 11+pm. 

I told Brayden I would be late and not to wait for me to return. But he still waited up for me. 

It's a warm feeling to know someone is waiting for me. No matter how hard the days are, I'd do it for them. I would never complaint about how hard work was; never bring the stress home. Home is a safe haven for the children and family. We can always return home and feel sheltered and supported.

One day, when I'm old and frail, I'd like to be able to wait for them every night and to lift their stress off from work and not be a burden; to provide them the same secured feeling. 

Brayden and Bevlynn were acting as their favourite zombie (from Plant vs Zombie). They are making the cute ump..ump...ump.. brains sound while they gently "chomp" up themselves... Bevlynn even pretended to sleep and make the fake snore.

April 2023

23-April-2023

Brayden 6Y1M30D

Bevlynn 1Y10M23D

Bev cried when there is loud thunder, she hugged Hubs tightly. Brayden cried when he was hurt on the leg, actually just a scratch but you know how he is - very sensitive and emotional to grab attention. 

We went to Kidstop and the children loved the role playing games; in the farm, at the contruction site, shopping, cook, pilot... 

Bev also played hide and no seek. There is really no one seeking. She wanted me to sit at the corner with her to hide for more than 30 mins. Every time that I asked to leave, she would pull me back to the corner behind the door. 

I love this moment

Brayden 6Y, 1M, 24D

Bevlynn 1Y, 10M, 17D

The past week was very busy. 

We had a good party celebration at Jurong Safra, play time at Ikea and swimming for the two kids. Those two kids drained all of our energy. Where did they get their energy from? 

I love this moment though. The moment when these children just happily jumped into the swimming pool (Bev still with diapers on). We did not even prepare the swimming attire for them. The way they play without worries reminds us that life has more to give than being in constant chase of material stuff. 

I love this moment. The moment when every waking day. I look forward to waking up with the children next to you and giving soft butterfly kisses. They look at you with their eyes full of hope and when you are the world to them; the whole world would melt away at that moment. Nothing fully matters more than having them in your arms. 

I love this moment. When I can carry and hold them for long hours, even their weight can almost break my back. Bev is 12kg and Bray is 20kg now. I'd probably need a good massage later, but all worth it. 

I love this moment. I will surely miss this moment. 

Their favourite cartoon is now Pokemon and Zombie vs Plant. Funny how Bev always say "Bie", "Chu" and "Die". These two fight but love each other as much. 

They remind us to be children again - love unconditionally and play innocently.